Wow. A majorly unexpected NSV!!

Non Scale Victories are few and far between now that I am farther out. 

But, yesterday one happened that I never expected. And, that scared me!

My husband was gawking at me awkwardly... so I asked him what he was looking at... 

in which he replies "I think I can pick you up!"

First, I'll say I can not remember the last time someone has been able to pick me up. Secondly I will say that I forgot just how scary that can be!

While nervous, I agreed to let him try. Without much hesitation, he indeed picked me up!!

Welcome Back!

Well, to my hair at least!

I've noticed in the past month that my hair is actually growing both in length and thickness. I've scaled back the use of Mane & Tale to once a week.. if that. After using it daily for three months, I guess I didn't notice the way my hair felt so dry to the touch. But, about a week ago I realized I still had some left over conditioner left from the last time I dyed my hair... you know that conditioner that is ALWAYS so nice and leaves your hair so nice?!?! And, seriously ALL day I kept feeling my hair.

Instantly I realized how dry my hair has been over the past few months and I decided to change.

I'm thankful Mane & Tale has helped get my hair back. But, I'm ready to have normal hair!

For Christmas my mom bought me a Groupon for a local salon. It was for full high lights, a hair cut and a blow dry styling. I recently went to use it! I decided to go way dramatic and go lighter than I've ever gone.

I will say that the photo above does NOT to the color justice. It's a LOT lighter in person. It's WAY more brown than blonde. And, I have to admit it... I LOVE IT!

Not bad considering I just had to pay tip! I also LOVE how she cut it to frame my face! 

whoooohoo!

Happy Anniversary to ME!

So actually I celebrated my first anniversary of my surgery on Tuesday. But, due to the craziness of the holidays and the work week I just haven't had time to really write much!

I had originally hoped to meet my final GOAL of 150 by my 1 year mark. Honestly, up until October'ish I really thought it was going to be possible. But, I forgot one thing. The closer you get to goal, the slower you lose. But, rather than being upset about not accomplishing what I really wanted to I decided to celebrate my successes and focus on the positives this far.

I changed my one year goal to only losing 1 pound so that I could say I lost 150 pounds in ONE year. 

So I weighed in on the morning of Tuesday and it's official I lost my 1 pound! AND some!

I have lost 152 pounds in one year. I'm 15 pounds away from goal. I am just happy and thankful beyond words. I think I am done actively trying to lose any more weight. I have decided I am going to pursue plastic/reconstruction surgery on my stomach to remove the excess skin. My biggest fear is that I will reach goal, have this surgery and then they will remove the skin that will be amount to a bit of weight and will make me look boney. MY plan is to use these last 15 pounds as a sort of cushion to help me.

I'm just nervous because when I researched the skin removal surgeries I read so often how people would have 10-20 pounds of skin removed. While I understand everyone is different I just do NOT want to seem TOO skinny! And, I planned to talk to my surgeon about it when I meet with him on January 3rd to see what he thinks and continue to assess from there!

New pictures are coming soon!

I confess...

I broke my "no weigh in until seeing the surgeon" plan. I was REALLY nervous I gained weight. I think between not weighing in and starting to have more food freedom I freaked myself out. So I did weigh in, I lasted about two weeks. But, the great news is... I didn't gain any weight! whoohoo! I was really nervous!

But, this little trial taught me that the scale is OK! It's doesn't need to be an every day thing. But, I can use it as I need to stay on track!

I think my body is comfortable at being 168-169 pounds. While I really want to be at goal I think I may be done trying to actively lose weight. I need to talk to my surgeon of course. But, my fear is that if I lose the other 18 pounds I need to, and then pursue reconstruction later to remove the excess skin I will look TOO skinny. Especially because I've read peoples posts about how their surgeon removed so many pounds of skin. 

It's just a waiting game until I talk with Dr. You! 

Excitement!

After losing about 50 pounds my wedding set began to feel loose. Eventually they got so big that I moved them to my middle finger, then my index finger. And, now they're even too big for my thumb. I have met with a few jewelers to discuss my options in regards to sizing. I can't remember if if I mentioned it or not but I have two wedding sets. I have the original set Phil proposed to me with and that I wore for the first few years of our marrriage. And, another set I got after things started looking up from his cancer diagnosis. It was to celebrate our new cancer free life. Well, I love them both. But I really love the second set. Unfortunately it is a channel setting and apparently they're difficult to size much. They're a 9 and I need a 6. So if I tried to have them sized the stones could easily fall out and since I do not have a job that would stand up to that I just didn't feel it was worth it. However, I remembered about my original set and decided we could see if that one could be resized. I took it to a place at the local mall and the guy quoted me at 200 dollars. I was going to just do it so I could have a ring. But, by the time I went back to him it was too late to have it done the same day. So I'd have to leave them over night. No thank you!

The next day I decided to try just one more place.. I went looking for the place my Mom's fiancee uses. But, I couldn't find it! Apparently they no longer have a shop at the mall like they used to. But, I was able to find another jeweler there who only quoted me 95 dollars! HE instantly made me feel at ease because he took out his little scope thing and examined my rings. Something the others have not done! And, he was honest and said he knew the engagement ring would be fine thru the sizing but the wedding bands stones may fall out. But, he would take all the stones out, resize it and reset them. Needless to say I agreed! I felt comfortable with him. And, it only took a few hours. 

When I got them back they fit PERFECT. And, they were all shiny! =) SO glad I can have them again!

Update!!

Alright so this morning I weighed in like I planned. I wasn't very happy with the number. But, I can say that I did not lose OR gain the week of Thanksgiving. Never in a million years did I think I could say that!

But, it appears my body feels comfortable right now at 168. I'm just going to enjoy it!

The scale is put away now and I will not weigh in again until I meet with Dr. You for my one year check up! In the beginning I thought I would DREAD this plan. However, I really really am excited about it. 

I think that it will be exciting to hear what I weigh after not weighing in for about 3 weeks. But, it will also help push me back into a better mind set. During this journey I because SO attached to that scale. I wouldn't say I'm addicted to it. I think it's been a very appropriate relationship. But, in real life people don't weigh themselves daily. I'm ready to that point! I don't want to let the number on that scale rule my life anymore.

Yes, I want to reach goal. And, I will continue work towards that. But, I'm going to limit my time with the scale.

Weight Chart!

I was just really upset because I had a program on my phone that I would track all my of my weigh in's on. Unfortunately, a few months ago my phone bit the dust and I lost all that information! =/ Luckily, I started this little graph on the skinnyr website.. And, then did a GREAT job tracking weigh in's on here.

I'm a visual learner.. so this kind of stuff really just shows how great I've done! whoohoo!

Get your own graph at skinnyr

Sounds like a plan!

My one year mark is coming up. And, to be completely honest I was really hoping I would be at goal by then. However, its just not happening. But, I have come so far in this almost year. And, this journey is not a race. So instead of beating myself up over this I have decided to put my scale away for some time. My plan is to weigh in tomorrow. And, then wait until I go to my 1 year check up to weigh in at the surgeons office. =)

First Thanksgiving Post Op

Today was my very first Thanksgiving as a VSG post op patient! I won't lie that even at eleven months out I was still pretty nervous. This was my first large holiday that strongly encourages food. The plan was we would have an early dinner at 1 with my family. And, then at 4 we would head up to enjoy a dinner at 5 with Phils family. Since I was aware that my small stomach requires a bit of time between meals I tried my hardest not to overdo it for the first meal. And, I can honestly say I did just that. I left that house feeling satisified. Not that overly stuffed feeling I have felt every other year.

I was even able to enjoy some SALAD! I have had a lot of issues with lettuce post op. But, tonight I tolerated it nicely!

11 Month Update....

Today I'm officially 11 months out. I swear I don't know where the time has gone. But I'm enjoying my journey to say the very least.

Today, I'm thankful for the Gastric Sleeve. As of today, I am 11 months out. I'm down 149 pounds, and over 70 inches. I've gone from a BMI of 52 down to 28. I've gone from size 24/26 in pants, 3X in tops to a 11/12 and a M in shirts. I knew the day of surgery my life was going to change, but NEVER in a MILLION years did I expect my life to change like THIS! =) I'm forever thankful!

Here's a quick picture!

My mom and I had a baby shower yesterday. And, I was in desperate need of a new pair of jeans. So through my mom's encouragement I went into Dots and tried some clothes on.

Originally I picked a pair of flare legged jeans that were a little dressy. And, when I tried them on the looked HUGE in the bottoms. Like bell bottoms or something. Well, the nice sales associate saw me with them and was like GIRL! With people like us who are SHORT, flare legged pants make us look boxy. So, he was like let me help you! He asked my size and ran off to find the jeans pictured above. HE brought me both a 13/14 and an 11/12. My mom suggested I go a little bigger then normal because she thinks their jeans are cut smaller.

The 13/14's were just TOO big. And, the 11/12's fit perfect on the bottom but up top they're a tad too big. But, such is my life. And, I liked the outfit so BAM!

The sweater is my NEW favorite. The boots aren't comfortable but they're cute so yah! I felt super cute!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

First let me say this.. I'm very sorry if I ramble in this post I'm just so darn excited. I'm having trouble containing myself!

Anyway, I weighed in this morning like I do EVERY Sunday. Sunday's are my "OFFICIAL" weigh ins..

This brings me to 149 pounds lost.

And, leaves me with 21 until reaching my new goal of 147.

YESSSSSSS!!! =) =) =)

I seriously had to step on and off the scale to make sure it was working. 

IS THIS THING ON!?! Is it REALLY working?!

Ok. After getting the same number a few times I think I'll allow myself to get excited!

NEW UPDATE PICTURES ARE COMING TODAY!!

I'm thankful...

I also have a blog on LiveJournal.

I basically use that one for personal use which is mainly for my graphic designs I like to do.

But, I did notice there was a WLS specific group there so I figured what the heck? IT won't hurt to join! So anyway I seen a post about from someone that was listing what they were thankful for surgery related.

So I figured I'd give it a whirl. I've been so thankful during this entire journey that it's time to list them all.

I'm thankful....

 that my insurance covered this surgery. It has changed my life in SO many ways. And, in the very beginning I was DENIED! I cried. I knew I couldn't do this on my own and MAINTAIN it alone. And, just did not have the financial resources myself to pay for it out of pocket.

for my surgeon. He is an INCREDIBLE man. I do not normally like doctors. But, he has been the exception to that. From the first meeting I instantly felt comfortable with him. 

my surgeon's team. They're incredible. In the beginning I'd call every day with some question and they helped me so much! 

for my amazing AMAZING support system. I decided to be very honest from the beginning about having weight reduction surgery. I was VERY nervous that a lot of people would pass judgement but I felt this was about ME! I needed to do whatever I needed to be healthy. However I was quickly shown how much my friends and family care for me. I have been blessed with the MOST amazing support system ever. Never in a million years would I of guessed I'd have so much support.

for the forums I've joined online. When I originally started to pursue WLS, I thought I wanted the Lap Band it wasn't for a few months later that I changed my mind. I didn't know ANYONE in real life who had the sleeve. It was through the help of STRANGERS that I felt comfortable enough to make this life changing decision.

for my followers. I am now up to 45. I'm closer to some of you then others. But, I'm thankful for everyone just the same. I'm thankful for the encouraging words you guys leave on my posts,  for taking the time to actually READ my blog. Just everything!

For the weight I've lost so far in the past almost 11 months. I've lost about 145 pounds with about 21 more left to go until I reach goal.

that I can fit into a size 12 pant. Never in a MILLION years would I imagined this. I started in about a 26. This is CRAZY! I can't EVER remember being a 12!

that when I wear a size Large t shirt it looks so baggy on me. It really helps put everything into perspective for me. 

That I can comfortably cross my legs.

That I can run small distances (for now!) without feeling like I'm going to die.

That I actually ENJOY exercising.

Hair Comparison...

Since I have so little left to lose I don't have as much to update about... But, I still want to bring blogs that MAY help someone later on... I've been thinking of ideas of stuff that I was curious about in the beginning and so on.

I know before I had my surgery the NUMBER ONE question I had was how much hair I would lose! I LOVE my hair and honestly didn't think I would lose THAT much because I had SO much. But, as much as I hate to say it... I definitely lost a LOT!

It IS starting to grow back slowly. But, I miss my hair!

In the first picture I didn't even have my surgery yet. I felt like I had a TON of hair. And, it was long. In the second I still hadn't started to lose a lot of hair. But, in the last one WOW! I did get my hair cut shorter in an attempt to make it look like I had "more hair" but, we see how that worked out!

** KEEP IN MIND EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. RESULTS MAY VARY**

Halloween Side By Side!

I was looking through my pictures for my last post and I found a picture I was like OMG!

I don't even have much to say about this. 

JUST WOW!

Halloween!

I love Halloween. It is one of my favorite things to celebrate.

So each year I plan the halloween party for my kids at work. I had a few ideas of what I wanted to be. But, in the end my ideas sucked and just didn't work out. I've beeN BEGGING my husband to get me some one piece pajamas with the footies. Now, I'm sure it's not entirely cute seeing your grown wife wearing ONE piece pajamas. But, my husband is sweet and agreed. Especially after I said I could use them as a costume! I mean, who can say no to a costume that can actually be used for MORE than just Halloween?!

Last night I went out and bought a set of Eeyore footie pajamas in a L. I thought they were cute. I picked out a pink blankie to hold and a stuffed bunny. I also found pink bows to put in my hair that matched Eeyores bow on his tail..

Well this morning I'm getting ready and I put the PJ's on... one part of my leg was cold. I was confused. I'm wearing fleece pi's... Why is ONE part of my leg cold? So I look down and find a hole in them :(

I ended up having to take them back to the store to exchange them. Since I was near work I went to another Walmart and found only TWO pairs of 1 piece PJs! I nearly walked away from them. They only had a S and a M left. There was NO way I could fit into either... but, then I was like ok... I can do this. At least TRY them!

Anyway, I FIT INTO THE MEDIUM! WHOOHOOO!

My brain sometimes plays tricks on me. But, I'm definitely getting to be "small enough" to wear those "ODD SIZES I USED TO JUST DREAM OF"

I came home and excitedly told my husband about the NSV... And realized the M was a 7-9. 

I'm totally on my way to being a smaller size.... :)

Dress Up? NSV

Yesterday I was browsing the forum VerticalSleeveTalk like I do every few days or so. And, I noticed there was a photo share posting specific to women. The theme was "Little Black Dress"

I was interested but the only picture I have of me in my "LBD" is form my honey's graduation. While I do like that picture it's not my FAVORITE. It was taken so quickly since we were basically getting kicked out of the venue and I just feel like I look stunned. 

Anyway, it wasn't until today that I remembered a few weeks ago my mom and I were out shopping for some dresses for her to take on her cruise with her. And, I ended up finding a dress I LOVED! It was black with some cream added in there. At the time I couldn't fit into the dress all the way. Well, I fit but the zipper wouldn't go all the way up. But, my mom insisted I get it because it was ONLY 10 dollars. So I did and figured I'd get into it eventually.

Tonight I figured... hmm what the heck, give it a try!

Well....

I was able to get it zipped ALL the way up by MYSELF! Which meant flipping the back to the front of me zipping it and turning it around. I will admit it took a bit of sucking and maybe even some breath holding. But, I was able to turn it around and BAM!

LOVE IT!

I wish I had some where to wear it. It IS a little tight up top which is WAY weird to me. I've lost a great bit of inches up top. Lately EVERYTHING is too big. But, apparently this dress is different.

Oh, and before I forget. This dress is a size 8.

It is cut a little big. But, STILL! It's an 8!

It's still completely crazy to me. I'm in a 12 right now. But, 8 still seems so far away.

stupid stupid stupid!

The closer I get to goal, the more I realize how much the stupid BMI calculator is!

Originally when I met with my surgeon he asked what I wanted my goal to be. And, well I've been over weight for most of my life. So I didn't have an exact number. I just wanted to weigh less than I did. Much, much less. But, my number one goal was to be able to be a Stem cell donor. I originally read that I had to have a healthy BMI. So when I mentioned that to my surgeon he said ok.. then 150 it is!

Now, that I've researched more I've learned that even right now with my actual BMI being read as "overweight" I am still within the weight requirements to become a donor. And, I plan to do it after my one year anniversary of my sleeve. 

But, each time I lose weight I enter it in on the app on my phone called Simple Weight Calculator. It also shows me my BMI and it always makes me think.

Even at my end goal of 150 I will be considered over weight. I'm only 5'5. In order to be considered "healthy" I need to be 147.

Well, you know what?!

I'm a LOT healthier now at 175 pounds then I was at 317. I don't require high blood pressure medicine. I can walk up stairs... or far distances without feeling winded. I can run. I can do things I don't think I've ever been able to do.

So in my book I AM HEALTHY!

I'm no longer going to let the BMI calculator dictate to me what my GOAL needs to be.

Hair Update...

In a few entries I complained a LOT about my hair falling out. It's finally making some progress!

I will be 10 months out in just a few days. The amount of hair I lose on a daily basis is definitely much less then before. I had a ton of re growth that is mainly in the front near my bangs. And, I can FINALLY put my hair up in a pony tail.

When I chopped my hair a few months back I thought it was a little too short. But, it flattered my much thinner face so I was okay with it. Especially since normally my hair grows pretty quickly. This time not so much. Running is almost horrific because my hair falls in my face, doesn't want to stay up... etc.

But! it's finally making some progress! WHOOHOO!

177...

Well, it appears 177 is the number of the day.

As of this morning I weight 177 pounds :) 

And, as of right now (well, after I post this!) I will have 177 blog entries! <3 Whoohooo!

Well, I missed weighing myself in yesterday before eating breakfast. So when I weighed right after eating and it said 179 I knew something was up. Because normally after eating I'm at 181... so I honestly thought my scale was playing tricks on me. But, nope. It looks like I finally get to wave a frantic good bye to the 180's... because it I tested it yesterday. Even after eating all my meals the scale did not hover past 179!

SO LONG SUCKAAAAA! :)

To date I've lost 140 pounds. And, only have 27 left until I reach my surgeon's goal of 150 pounds! WHOooHOOO! It feels so REAL now! :)

list...

One of the things I always say to people who are about to be sleeved (or about to have any WLS) is to sit down and write out a list of stuff they want to accomplish after surgery.

I just realized I never posted my "official" list so here goes:

Weigh less than I did in High School. Lose 25 pounds. Wear a size 16. Lose 50 Pounds. Get on rides at a carnival. Lose 75 pounds. Lose 100 pounds. Lose 150 pounds. Reach Goal. Wear a size 18. Weigh less than the husband. Wear dresses. Try new things I never thought was possible. Become more active. Buy a pair of shoes that aren't Wide Width! Be able to borrow clothes from friends. Weigh less than one of my brothers.

I need to update this list more!